There's multiple reasons why, if you really think about it. I'm sure if most of you stopped and thought about global warming, you'd be able to come up with 2 or 3 reasons why its hilarious. I'm sure some of you are laughing about it right now, on the inside, and a few of the naughtiest of you are actually chuckling out loud.
Let me just say something to you Gaia-haters out there who did laugh out loud at your own sick imaginings of why global warming might be a laughing matter:
Gaia, or to the lay-person, "Mother Earth" is weeping right now because of your actions. If you don't even know who that is, then you are a bastard who probably goes around spraying 2 cans of Pam/spray paint/Redding's Whipped Cream at a time straight up into the air just for the fun of it. You probably drive a Hummer with twin-chainsaws on either side through entire square-miles of the rainforest, chopping down trees and running over all kinds of peacocks, insects, and disease-curing fungi, all the while pumping hundreds upon hundreds of grams per kilometer of Co2 emissions into the atmosphere. You probably get some kind of sick satisfaction from hiding all of the Fair Trade coffee at Starbucks way back behind the other coffees so that no one will buy them even if they want to.
You probably even eat non-compostable food like twinkies that you keep in custom-made single-serving styrofoam containers, which you throw into local creeks or playgrounds after you are done consuming your death-snack like a jackass instead of recycling them like everyone knows you should.
(Disclaimer: Don't actually try to recycle styrofoam containers. It's not that I care at all--I just don't want to be held responsible for the severe emotional distress you will likely suffer after you try this and a hippie or wannabe-hippie sternly lectures you for 10 minutes about how they can't believe you don't know what you can or cannot recycle. This lecture also has a high likelihood of leading to severe boredom, as it digresses into a self-righteous rant--not even necessarily to you anymore, but just anyone who will or will not listen--about how they cannot believe there are people out there who don't recycle at all! With all we know about global warming, they will say, how could a person not recycle? It just goes to show what a nation of consumers we are, and we don't even realize it.
At this point, in the lecture, you most likely will zone out, or actually fall asleep--this can lead to additional physical as well as emotional trauma, especially if you were standing, walking, sitting with dangerous tools or animals in your hands, or driving a vehicle--though, I really don't know how or why you were trying to recycle anything whilst driving. The point is, you will be very sorry you tried to recycle styrofoam, and probably will regret even opening that twinkie, and I don't want you coming back and blaming me).
Which reminds me of what I was yelling about (you might not have even been aware I was raising my voice since you are only reading this, but trust me, I was yelling), if you are opening the twinkie and trying to recycle styrofoam, you are one of those bastards who doesn't know who Mother Earth (or Gaia, as she is more affectionately known by I have no idea who, but probably anyone who clings to ancient Greek mythology) is.
Gaia is a hot Native-American-ish woman with a gold headband a la Wonder Woman who sometimes shows up when Captain Planet needs additional help battling such villians as Hoggish Greedly, Sly Sludge, or Captain Pollution--his grotesque, pollution-powered foil. If you don't know what I am talking about, you probably didn't grow up in the late 80s/early 90s, and you missed out on one hell of a quality cartoon. Here is a link you can click to find out more: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain_Planet. This should clear up any confusion.
So back to why global warming can be funny.
I just unwittingly (or was it?) mentioned one reason I came up with--it gives us an excuse to revisit the show Captain Planet, and all of its campy gloriousness. This show was as hilarious as it was uninformative.
I think it really confused the hell out of kids, "so . . . let me get this straight. . . . if we all touch rings together and say one of the ancient 4 elements (and the lamest-ass possible 5th one--Heart? Give me a break) out loud, a giant green man will appear and kick the crap out of unnecessarily evil bad-guys who gratuitously pollute the Earth just for shits and giggles?" No amount of public service announcements at the end of episodes designed to give kids practical avenues for saving the planet could undo the knot of whimsical bull-plop that each episode itself created. If anything, it probably directly and significantly made the problem worse because kids sat inside all saturday morning watching this show and eating twinkies out of disposable styrofoam containers and, instead of recycling them, waited around for the styrofoam to turn into a pollution-monster so Captain Planet could show up and smite it.
Also, I don't want to get started on that Heart kid (the 5th Planeteer with the "awesome" power of "heart"), but I can't help it. Heart is probably the least badass 5th element they could have added. Think of how suh-weet the other ones are--earth, wind, fire, and water. Each one could seriously wreck your proverbial shit on its own, let alone all combined. Even only combining 3 elements--Earth Wind and Fire, could create a seriously groovy song. (Such as, Let's Groove).
But heart. Love--really? That's your weapon? What, does the kid act all into the bad guys and then stop calling them for no reason so they feel bad about themselves? I guess in the hands of an immature teenage girl, love can be a formidable power, but it hardly stacks up to the sheer destructive force of a tonrado or a rock-bashing.
They also made the Heart-kid (or as he's known on the show, Ma-Ti) about as lame as he could possibly be. He's a 12 year old Brazillian that telepathically communicates with animals--sounds like a semi-decent Disney movie plot, but a pretty unimpressive Pollution-Battling Warrior. Maybe, maybe, Heart would be tight if he did something crazy and heart-related, like he actually ate the hearts of his enemies, or even performed risky and unncessary heart-surgeries on them under the guise of being a 3rd-world doctor.
But no, we are stuck with the whiney twerp who just goes around feeling empathetic towards everyone, including his enemies, and petting his damn monkey-friend. Not only must this bug the crap out of the tougher, more useful Planeteers, I bet that monkey probably carries around all kinds of fleas and lice and ebola, which is irritating and dangerous to everyone involved.
I guess Captain Planet getting ebola from the pet Capuchin of the weakest member of his own team would really be a tragically ludicrous way for him to be defeated, and would thus be a global-warming situation that would warrant laughter.
Another obvious reason why global warming can be hilarious is that it gives us a chance to listen Al Gore's astute and often well-timed acerbic witticisms in such films as An Inconvenient Truth. I've heard of dry humor, but this guy takes the jokes, Sham-Wow's em, salts em, bakes them for 18 hours in a kiln, places them into ziplock sealed bags and salts em again before dishing em out--I'm talkin' dry!
Anyway, if you are interested in 2 visual representations that offer drastically different approaches to solving the hilarious crisis of global warming--one that highlights the effectiveness of seemingly minor acts of individual responsibility like checking your tires' air pressure frequently, buying products with less packaging, and changing light bulbs, and another that emphasizes the lesser-taken route of enlisting in a coderie of multi-cultural ring-possessing teenagers that can summon metallic green super heros to battle pollution-bent foes--then check out Captain Planet and the Planeteers and An Inconvenient Truth, respectively.
Either way, it will help your chances of scoring with the hottest Earth-spirit you and I have ever seen, Gaia.
In conclusion, let's all try to live in harmony with the ozone. Recall the age-old motto of our 1960s bretheren, Shave the Whales--all that hair can be used to help the lagging wig industry--and remember, THE POWER IS YOURS!
Mikee P
If you are actually interested in doing what you can to stop global warming, here is a simple yet the only truly effective method--stop doing anything--consume no more energy, and create no more waste--don't even die ever because your body will have to be decomposed. Since that's probably impractical for most of you, here is what others have suggested: http://www.climatecrisis.net/takeaction/whatyoucando/.
Theme-Appropriate Quote:
Hippie: You can't, like, own property man.
Professor Farnsworth: I can. But that's because I'm not a penniless hippie.
(Futurama, "The Problem with Popplars")
Al Gore (after the universe imploded): "I don't know where we are, but I know dang sure where we aren't--the universe."
(Futurama, "Anthology of Interest I" voice actually performed by Vice President Al Gore--what did I tell you--humor as dry as a 68 year old Miami sunbather's skin, right?)
An Inconvenient Truth: http://www.climatecrisis.net/
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